How to hold a crocodile / the Diagram Group.

Includes index.

Originally published: London : Sidgwick and Jackson, 1981.

How to... -- Make a bed -- Handle a hamster -- Serve port -- Tell when the Queen of England is at home -- Keep plants happy -- Race a crocodile -- Thread beads easily -- Make an artesian well -- Teach a parrot to talk -- Preserve leaves and flowers -- Find a perfect number -- Make the Moutza sign -- Play a nose flute -- Take a pulse -- Break a thread in a sealed bottle -- Make Jell-O or jelly set quickly -- Name the parts of a flag -- Measure a mile -- Store win -- Become a saint -- Make a rotten pot -- Pickle walnuts -- Make a mummy -- Leave the earth -- Wear the toga -- Tell a centipede from a millipede -- Cut jade -- Read music notation -- Cut a block of ice into one! -- Photogra0ph fish -- Store rubber sheeting -- Peel tomatoes -- Play Tlachtli -- Keep the birds at bay -- Glaze a window -- Play the bagpipes -- Classify boxers -- Identify a diamond -- Make tanning oil -- Signal by semaphore -- Make cottage cheese -- Make a spanner or wrench smaller -- Do a headstand -- Keep flies away -- Increase your lifting power -- Get the old cat to accept a new kitten -- Dry herbs -- Vanquish a vampire -- Stop ink smearing in the rain -- Play Hex -- Personalize a squash -- Seat an orchestra -- Go for Gold -- Make candles last longer -- Peel onions without tears -- Decode Morse -- Tell your ass from your hinny -- Read the secrets of Leonardo DaVinci -- Improve your diving -- Make zabaglione -- Play come and paper -- Hold a pigeon -- Play shove ha'penny -- stop a creaking stair -- Make cawdell cup -- Cure insect stings - Ride a ski tow -- Play dominoes -- Escape from quicksand -- Climb through a playing card -- Name a horse's gait -- Make compost -- Read your palm -- Bring in the boar's head -- Bow Japanese style -- Tie packages tightly -- Read boustrophedon writing -- Throw a discus -- Know the Queen of England's swans -- Tell a horse's age -- Know the Olympian gods -- Tell a crocodile from and alligator -- Draw a triangle with three right angles -- Jug a hare -- Play jacks -- Get a carp to come when you call -- Cure a hangover -- Walk farther -- Build a sandcastle -- Measure your head for a wig -- Copy a picture carved on stone -- Keep a silver teapot fresh -- Tell an ape from a monkey -- Use the binary system -- Store cheese -- Play Nyout -- Recognize gold -- Make a bouquet garni -- Make a tripod -- Stop rugs from slipping -- Take nasty medicine -- Action paint -- Meassure humidity -- Remove a tight ring.

Calculate a birthday - Dance the hora -- Sharpen kitchen scissors -- Play conkers -- Tie a clove hitch -- protect your cutlery - Spot an ectomorph -- Have four birthdays in a year -- Crown a souffle -- Bottle a whole pear - Medicate a cat -- Prevent facial frostbite -- Paint a wooden window -- Crack a coconut -- Bull your boots -- Pass a federal law in the US -- Make vichyssoise - Twist wire -- Signal at sea -- Make a brass rubbing -- Decorate eggs for Easter -- Tighten a loose screw -- Make bird's nest soup -- Clean a saucepan -- Make your candle fit your candlestick -- get rid of a red nose -- Measure a horse -- Take a cutting -- Tame a tarantula -- Choose fruit trees -- Prevent string tangling -- Build a tipi -- Keep storms away at sea -- Make a potato print -- Roast chestnuts -- Ease toothache by acupressure -- Tell a zebra from a zubra -- Improvise an oil lamp - Play rock, paper, scissors -- Clean patent leather - Make dandelion wine - recognize a vampire -- Get up on water ski -- Make a wormery -- Make a paper fish swim -- Cook in the earth -- Hit a nail on the head -- Make a syllabub -- Play ox and Geese -- Care for a bonsai -- Choose the appropriate glass -- Hold a rabbit -- Open asparagus cans -- Magnetize a walnut -- Discourage greenfly -- Become king or queen of England -- Shoot craps -- Fill a garbage bag -- Save on lemons -- Keep paint fresh in store -- Rate a river -- Hunt the snark -- Use chopsticks -- Make egg paint -- Make a compass -- Color food yellow -- Time a watch at sea -- Teach a bear to dance -- Avoid nightmares - Count in Roman numerals -- Grow plants in a straight row - Bandage a finger -- Freshen up your paint box -- Please a piranha -- Spot the pole star -- Fold a suit for packing -- Make a ginger beer plant -- Mix the perfect martini -- Tell a nutmeg from mace -- Stand for the British Parliament -- Do the cobra -- Crystalize angelica -- Signal from ground to air -- Remove cigarette stains -- Convert centigrade to Fahrenheit (and back again) -- Spot African and Asian elephants -- Estimate tea and coffee for a party -- Throw a hammer -- Use your refrigerator efficiently -- Chain stitch.

Readers of all ages, especially children and teens, will have fun with this color-illustrated compendium of obscure facts and instructions. Presented in no particular order, there are instructions on climbing through a playing card, keeping an octopus, making a camel-dung cigarette lighter, preparing a boar's head for a feast, and teaching a bear to dance. On the more practical side, there is information on performing CPR, growing bean sprouts, heating an ancient Roman villa, and building a log cabin. Whimsical illustrations and bordered boxes make the book accessible for even the youngest readers. How to Hold a Crocodile is an illustrated and fun-to-read guide to the practical information that is not taught in school. This book is jammed full of simple instructions for many situations in life. Need to roast an ox? Repel cavalry? Tie a bow tie? All instructions are here, clear, concise, and fully illustrated.This remarkable reference book explains how to:- Build a log cabin- Catch a cockroach- Magnetize a walnut- Play the castanets- Ride a dolphin- Drill for oil- Meet the Pope- Find a blind spot- Become a saintHard-earned experience spanning many cultures and centuries leads to creative advice and counsel. Want to prevent a nail from splitting wood? Simply wipe the nail on soap before hammering.The off-beat retro artwork and text is fun and engaging. How to Hold a Crocodile is an amazing collection of information, advice, tips, and instructions guaranteed to entertain and satisfy anyone's curiosity.