Author's note -- Part one: Grape juice and humiliation -- Girl's guide to bragging and lying -- White like me -- Christmas trees, Jews, and virgins -- Love and the Maharishi -- Part two: not just horny, but obnoxious too -- Mick Jagger wants me -- Puberty, sex and other extreme sports -- My brilliant career -- How clever are we? -- Part three: Reality says "hello" -- Picnic at Treblinka -- I was a professional lesbian -- My father the park ranger, my mother the nun -- Your tax dollars, hard at work -- Hypocrite in a pouffy white dress -- Speak at the tuna -- Acknowledgements.

A collection of true stories by everyday women follows such remembrances as coming of age as an unfashionable white girl in an all-Puerto Rican neighborhood, experiencing embarrassment in front of a rock star, and receiving horrible mistreatment by a "feminist" boss.